Nicole Vullo
on
Written by Alan D. Wolfelt PhD
As you know, there are many families out there who are more difficult to satisfy than in the past. Some observers have noted that today’s consumers are “never satisfied customers.”
Many of the families you serve are not familiar with the value of funerals. In addition, we now live in a culture that is convenience and efficiency oriented. These are only two of the many factors that have influenced why some families consider holding “parties” as opposed to meaningful funeral ceremonies.
In the face of these challenges, it seems those of you committed to the future of funeral service confront an important choice. On the one hand, you can decide to give up and project that it is the difficult family’s problem. On the other hand, you could work to really listen to the contemporary families you serve, to hear what they are telling you, and to respond accordingly.
Yes, the consumer-driven marketplace has changed the heart and soul of funeral service. Today’s enlightened funeral home understands that satisfying families is won only one way: by dynamically serving them to the best of your capability.
Dynamically serving today’s families means providing information, education, and choices that meet individual needs and circumstances. This means you work to create authentic, meaningful funeral experiences at every opportunity and constantly attempt to make small, gradual improvements in the service you provide.
If we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that some in funeral service have internalized the following assumption: “We know what our families want and need. We know it even better than they do.” Indeed, it is tempting to believe that years of experience in funeral service have provided you a sense of having superior knowledge of what families want and need from you.
Can this kind of thinking get a funeral home in trouble quickly today? Not only can it, it already has for some.
Funeral homes that best understand that there is a new and very different customer out there will work to create and communicate a well-defined customer-inspired service strategy. The funeral home of the future will be focused on listening to and understanding and responding swiftly to the changing wants, needs, and expectations of families served. The funeral home of the future will create and maintain “customer-friendly” service delivery systems. The funeral home of the future will hire, inspire, and develop customer-oriented staff.
Even those of you who think your customer-orientation is excellent should not relax into self-congratulation. Today’s families are more apt to use technology to consider choices, more diverse and mobile, and more demanding of respectful and courteous treatment. I believe the demands of funeral homes to meet and exceed service expectations will only continue to increase into the future.
At bottom, the successful future of funeral service hinges on listening to and learning from the families you have the opportunity to serve like never before. In other words, change with the families you serve or run the risk of being left behind.
Responding to the trend of the “difficult to satisfy” family
Let’s explore several essential reasons to listen to those you are privileged to serve:
- To recognize “moments of truth” in your delivery of services. Moments of truth occur any time the customer comes in contact with you and uses the opportunity to judge the quality of service your funeral home is providing. For example, a few moments of truth in your service delivery are: 1) The moment that a staff member answers the telephone; 2) The moment families are greeted when coming in for an arrangement conference; 3) The initial time a family spends with the body of the person that died; 4) How you project patience at the conclusion of visitation hours; 5) The moment you respond (or don’t respond) to complaints.
- To keep up with trends and the changing needs of those you serve. In these days of fast-paced change, families’ expectation and needs are also very dynamic. For example, if you are located in an area where more and more people are choosing cremation, your staff should receive training in how to provide cremation memorialization options. In other words, as you observe trends don’t just react – respond. As Yogi Berra once said, “You can observe a lot by just watching.”
- To hear the unexpected ideas that families bring you. A funeral home I consulted with recently had a family suggest the favorite music of the person who died be played during the visitation. They have since been offering this to every family they serve – with very positive responses. Another funeral home had a man suggest placing a brochure on men’s grief in the restroom. Now they cannot keep it in stock. Bar none, the best ideas you get will often come from those you serve.
- Don’t confuse “making decisions” with “making choices.” Funeral directors sometimes tell me that their role is to help families make decisions. The problem with this understanding is that decisions can be made with limited information. An example of a decision families are often asked to make is, “Would you like to have a visitation?” The answer to this question is yes or no, black or white. But if you are helping families make choices, not decisions, you first need to take the time to educate them on the benefits of visitations. The more information a family is given about each of the elements of ceremony, the more their decisions become true choices.
- Don’t confuse efficiency with effectiveness. Are you an efficient or effective funeral home staff member? If you are efficient, you get things done quickly and competently, perform your surface-level duties with speed and reasonable attention to detail, try to be polite yet not waste time, and focus on reaching “the end.” On the other hand, if you are effective, you do what you do with a higher purpose in mind, care deeply about the lasting impact you have on others, interact with genuine compassion and empathy, and understand that time spent helping families create a meaningful experience is never wasted time.
If you want to not only survive but thrive into the future, listen to the families you serve. The funeral home that will go out of business is the one that doesn’t believe there is anything to learn from families served. The future of funeral service is filled with both dangers and opportunities. My hope is that you will take full advantage of the opportunities before you.
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., is recognized as one of North America’s leading death educators and grief counselors. His books on grief for both caregivers and grieving people have sold more than a million copies worldwide and are translated into many languages. Wolfelt is founder and director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and a longtime consultant to funeral service. Contact him at drwolfelt@centerforloss.com.