Nicole Vullo on 
Written By Jen Graziano, Attorney, Licensed Funeral Director NY/CT
Coxe & Graziano Funeral Home
Recent headlines were made in the State of Indiana regarding a “death doula” and a question of her infringement on the stringent rules and regulations that govern the death care industry.
As funeral directors are aware that we are bound by both federal and state regulatory guidelines that affect our ability to discuss funeral arrangements with families. The mere mention of “cost” or “price” trigger a cold and callous passage of price menu into the client’s hands. (That’s a conversation for another day). Despite the federal and state confines we’ve long been placed under, which dictate how we charge, what we can charge for and how we can present said charges, in comes the “doula” with free-flowing discussions on these same topics. It’s a quandary, but one for which we, as funeral directors, need to be armed and prepared.
The case in question involves Lauren Richwine, a doula and founder of “Death Done Differently” LLC. In 2023, a cease-and-desist order was issued by the Indiana State Attorney General following complaints of her discussion of funeral options with her client families. The State Board of Funeral and Cemetery Service challenged Richwine’s actions as they claimed her discussion of pricing and funeral options was a direct violation of the industry-governing laws which funeral directors must adhere to. Both parties, the State and Richwine, agreed to the order, but only for a moment in time. Shortly after the issuance, Richwine challenged the order as a violation of her free speech as she was prohibited to discuss funeral arrangements.
Richwine’s move to bring the case to the federal court caused the overturning of the “cease and desist” order. It was deemed by a federal judge that although the cease-and-desist order was permissible under the state laws, there were constitutional issues that surpassed and ultimately gave Richwine the right to get back to business.
The State claims, “Creating a middleman type of situation in addition to the funeral service provider who is already coordinating different vendors and things of that nature… It does create the potential for fraud, it does create the potential for negligence, so it does make sense that the state would want to step in and govern that.” The claim demonstrates a prescient interest of the State of Indiana to protect funeral consumers.
The legal question boils down to whether the commercial free speech of Richwine and her business carries forth constitutional protection. Is Richwine constitutionally protected from discussing funeral arrangements with families? Let’s break if down. Richwine is operating a business so therefore, therefore, the issue of what she is presenting to her clients falls under “commercial speech”. For commercial speech, a four-pronged test known as “The Central Hudson Test” is applied to a case. Without delving into the nuances, the ultimate legal question that arises here, and remains unanswered, does the state have a large enough interest in order to limit the speech of Richwine?
Although the outcome of this case is yet to be determined, it provides members of our industry with cause for concern. But first, credit to the Indiana State Board for championing the plight of their members. Funeral directors are trained and duly regulated to provide information, costs and options to the families they serve. The FTC Funeral Rule was predicated on the notion that funeral home clients are the epitome of a vulnerable consumer and therefore they should be treated with the most “dumbed down” and basic form of a pricing structure. The assumption was that we, the funeral director who answered the calls 24 hours and 7 days a week, got awoken from sleep, missed holidays, etc, were the hunter and the bereaved, the pray. We’ve been shackled by these federal guidelines since 1984, and now in walks the “doula” who can discuss price and options regulation-free. Hypocrisy at its finest.
But sadly, once horses have left the barn, it is difficult to coral them back in. The doula is not leaving and like the event planners that have infiltrated our deathcare space, we need to be careful and measured in our response as the funeral industry. Bashing these outsiders will likely not serve us well. Negative-speak, or strong dissuasions against utilizing one of these third-party characters will potentially backfire. What we must do, collectively, is acknowledge their presence in our realm, and tactfully educate families on the nuances of what only we, funeral directors, know how to do. There are ways to convey a message without having to specifically say anything. Focus on showing a family all that we do and all that only we know, and hopefully they will catch on to the hint that we are the only ones to be trusted in death. Let them bring along their “doula” if they have one, to not be accused of alienating them from conversations surrounding funeral planning. Let them think they are part of the equation, let them be a passenger in the car while we, the funeral directors, remain in the driver’s seat.
The lessons learned from this unresolved legal case are that; we are not alone anymore in the deathcare space AND we need strong state associations to protect us and fight for our “exclusivity” in this space. Third party disruptors are everywhere and in every industry. There is no going back but there is a path forward. Thoughtful, attentive, concierge-level providing funeral professionals will always be the primary weapon in the fight to maintain relevance of the funeral industry. Let us be vigilant, let us be smart, let us always be prepared.
Jen has carried her family’s legacy into the 4th generation. A fixture at the funeral home since her early years, she has embraced the call to service and has taken her work outside the confines of the funeral home into the community at large. Jen has spearheaded many projects and organizations including Mamaroneck’s coveted “Harbor Fest” that she chaired for six years. She also served as a two term President of the Mamaroneck Chamber of Commerce. Jen is active in daily operations of all 3 funeral homes. She understands the delicate balance of providing dignity and service to the deceased while comforting and caring for the living. Jen had initiated the funeral home’s aftercare program more than a decade ago and it remains a viable discussion group that has assisted many people in dealing with the difficulties of loss. She is responsible for hosting the funeral home’s coveted “Senior Appreciation Day” at local senior centers in Larchmont/Mamaroneck, Harrison and Greenwich. In addition she serves on the Community Advisory Board for Greenwich Hospital, a Board Member of the Greenwich Chamber of Commerce and President of the Sts. John & Paul PSPA. She is a frequent lecturer and panelist discussing senior issues in the community. She is a graduate of The Ursuline School, Fordham University, Touro Law School and the American Academy McAllister Institute. Jen is also a lector and parishioner of Sts. John & Paul and a member of the Larchmont Shore Club. She is the host of a weekly radio program on WVOX, “Time to Talk” focusing on sensitive issues of advanced planning and the creator of “Coming of Age Magazine”, which further touches on those issues. She’s recently created a line of memorial jewelry, RememBar Collection, comprised of “wearable memories”, which allow you to carry the ones you love with you wherever you go. She is most proud of her number one role, “Mia’s mom”.